Do Writers Really Have to Learn All That (Yucky) Grammar?

Do writers really have to learn all that (yucky) grammar? In a word, yes. In two words: absolutely yes.

I hear groans. I hear protests. You hated English Comp in school? Old, crotchety Mrs. Snigglegrass made you dissect sentences and name the parts of speech? You got a what as your final grade?

I feel your pain. Who ever makes grammar fun and easy? Learning grammar, to some people, is as much fun as getting a tooth pulled. Or having to memorize the multiplication tables or the capitals of all the countries in the world (remember when they never changed?). Terms like dangling modifiers, predicates, participial phrases, and subjunctive mood give some people the chills. Did you have to conjugate verbs back in junior high? Do you know the difference between the past progressive tense and the past perfect? No? Do you care? More than likely, you don’t.

Every Vocation Requires a Knowledge of Tools

But how in the world will you be a proficient handler of the English language if you don’t know anything about the tools of your trade? What would you think if you brought your ailing car to a mechanic and he didn’t have any tools in the shop? Or he had a box full of tools but hadn’t a clue how to use any of them correctly?

For some reason, many writers feel they should get to pass go and proceed to the bank without having to do the hard work of learning to write well and become a master (or mistress) at handling language. Where’s the logic in that?

I work on about two hundred manuscripts a year—critiquing and editing—and I’m astonished how poorly written some are. I’m not talking about novel structure, which is difficult and tricky to learn. I’m talking about very basic grammatical issues—punctuation, spelling, sentence structure. Granted, many writers send me a rough draft to work on, so I don’t expect them to have edited it to perfection. But what I see a lot is a lack of understanding regarding so many of the basics of good writing.

A Time to Gush and a Time to Polish

Some of this is just sloppy or lazy writing due to hurrying to slap thoughts on the page, and I get that. I encourage writers to gush and let their prose flow in their first draft. But I expect them to then follow through by rereading at some future date and cleaning up the mess. And more importantly, knowing how to.

I’m not saying every writer must have super-editing chops and spend months memorizing the Chicago Manual of Style. Just as we don’t expect all doctors to memorize Gray’s Anatomy. (Should we? Do they?)

I’m afraid, though, that many writers haven’t a clue how to clean up their messy manuscripts. And even worse, many don’t really care. They think it’s their editor’s job to transform the mess into perfect prose. And we editors often do that; maybe you think I should be grateful for the job security. But, speaking for myself, I would rather work on a draft that’s been carefully edited and shows the writer not only cares about what she’s written but has a respect for language. The way some writers mutilate language makes me wonder if they have a love-hate relationship with writing.

A mechanic or building contractor will take good care of his or her tools, learn to wield them correctly, and choose the best one for the specific task at hand. Shouldn’t writers treat words similarly? We expect anyone wanting to become a teacher, nurse, commercial truck driver, or plumber will hit the books and learn his vocation. So why do so many people feel that being a writer exempts them from having to take the time to learn proper grammar? Who started that lie anyway?

Proficiency in Grammar Leads to Competency and Confidence

One morning I asked my surgeon/author friend to describe how he prepared for each surgery. He explained how he filled out a “menu” of the surgical instruments he would need depending on the type of surgery he was about to perform. He would put a check mark next to numerous scalpels and other items, then turn in his menu. When he entered the operating room, he’d find his requested instruments and accessories lined up, waiting for him. With those specific tools, he could perform his surgery efficiently, competently, and confidently.

You may be arguing, “No one is going to die if I don’t have the exact grammar tools or know all the rules when I sit down to write my novel, right?” True, although I’ll be daring enough to say that if you are lacking a lot of those proper tools, your patient (read: your novel, story, article, or post) may die a slow (or fast) and painful death. This just might have an adverse effect on your writing career.

You want your writing to shine. You want to show the world you are a terrific writer. Well then, “Physician, know thy tools.” Then you can perform your writing operations efficiently, competently, and confidently. And let me just add this: when you have the right tools and know how to use them, it always makes a job so much easier.

The fun thing about being grown-ups is we can decide how, when, and what we want to learn. The challenge is to erase the bad associations we have with certain subjects we suffered through in school (such as English Comp?) and find a new joy in the learning. It may sound trite, but it truly is a matter of attitude. Make the decision to adopt a healthy attitude about learning grammar. Set aside some time each day or week to dig into books or websites that can teach you what some of those yucky things are all about. Who knows, you may even learn to love those dang(ling) participles or misplaced modifiers!

Tell me your opinion: Do you enjoy or dread learning about grammar?