This post is by Gene Perret.
Following are a few quips that have something interesting in common:
You know what an agnostic is? A cowardly atheist.
Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
The common factor is that they were all created by distinguished writers. The first by novelist Herman Wouk; the second by journalist and author Studs Terkel; and the third by Mark Twain.
Many respected writers have dabbled in short, humorous writing. Mark Twain may be quoted as frequently as Will Rogers or Bob Hope. In fact, people probably read more of Twain’s
short, clever observations than they do his novels. Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward both are known for memorable one-liners. Herman Wouk, who authored The Caine Mutiny and Winds of War among other revered novels, actually began as a gag-writer for radio comedian, Fred Allen.
Creating short humorous sayings can be not only a pleasant diversion from more serious writing chores, but it can also enhance many writing skills. Following are a few:
Storytelling
Short, pithy one-liners have a structure just as longer forms do. Most witty sayings have a beginning, a middle, and an end—a form familiar to all writers. Spending a brief amount of time composing witticism can be excellent practice for all sorts of story telling. For instance, consider the tale told by this offering from James Thurber:
One martini is all right. Two are too many. Three is not enough.
Conciseness
Shakespeare warned that “brevity is the soul of wit.” Good humor should be short and to the point. Writing of any genre is more pleasant when it is compact and purposeful. Consider this short, sage, cleverly worded bit of advice from the legendary Ray Bradbury:
If you don’t like what you’re doing, then don’t do it.
Powerful Statement
All writing should be powerful, compelling, and persuasive. Aphorisms are an excellent exercise in writing energetically. Consider how strongly Mark Twain got the following message across:
It is better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
Clear Meaning
Excellent writing conveys the author’s meaning accurately and definitely. It avoids ambiguity and says to the reader exactly what it means to say. Brief, witty quips accomplish that superbly. They make a statement and they leave no doubt in the reader’s mind what is being said. Writing a few of them from time to time can sharpen any writer’s ability to communicate.
Noel Coward left no logical escape with this short statement:
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Sentence Structure
One-liners often depend on the wording to deliver the punchline. How a sentence reads can often be as important to its effectiveness as what that sentence is saying. All writing, in fact, is dependent to a large part on the arrangement of the words. Once again, composing short, witty quips is excellent training in arranging the words to deliver the most powerful payload.
Here are a couple of superb examples from Mark Twain:
The coldest winter I ever spent in my life was one summer in San Francisco.
It’s better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Vocabulary
The Ten Commandments of Comedy by Gene Perret (affiliate link)
Writers deal in words. They are the medium we use to paint our images. It was Mark Twain again who said, “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.” Some wag amended that later to read, “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between chicken and chicken pox.” Both quotes make the point that vocabulary is important to a writer. Finding and using the perfect word makes the text crisper and more readable. The perfect word is often essential in writing short, humorous quotes.
Notice how adroitly Noel Coward employs vocabulary to make this point:
Work is much more fun than fun.
And Ring Lardner manipulated vocabulary superbly and whimsically in this famous quote:
“Shut up,” he explained.
All of us, of course, are busy with our writing responsibilities, both contractual obligations and speculative projects. Nevertheless, we should take relaxation breaks occasionally. Why not use that time to develop more writing techniques? Creating short, pithy quotes is not only beneficial, but fun. Write one, two, or three a day. Heck, write one, two, or three a week. The number doesn’t matter so much as the effort. I’m sure you’ll find the exercise helpful.
Keep a notebook of your “gems” and perhaps someday you’ll be quoted as often as Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, Noel Coward, and other writers who may be almost as witty as you.
Have fun doing it.
About the Author: Gene Perret has written comedy material for such legendary performers as Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller, Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, and others, and has worked on many classic television shows, including The Carol Burnett Show, Welcome Back, Kotter, and Three’s Company. Perret has won three Emmy Awards and one Writer’s Guild Award, and he is the author of over 40 books, including his latest, The Ten Commandments of Comedy. available from Quill Driver Books.
