Note From KMW: This week’s post is a quick one—but it covers a sneaky little habit that can creep into even the best of stories: overexplaining in dialogue. I’ve seen it in books I’ve read, and I’ve definitely caught myself doing it too. It’s easy to do when we want to make sure readers really understand what’s going on, but often, this dialogue mistake just ends up slowing the story and undercutting our characters.
If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re trusting your readers enough, this one’s for you! The post was inspired by an example so bad I’m paraphrasing rather than directly quoting it. :p I’ll be back next week with a longer post (and podcast), the first in a two-part series I’m really excited about. Stay tuned!
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As writers, we work hard to earn our readers’ trust. Nothing shatters that trust faster than treating them like they’re not smart enough to keep up. One of the most subtle and common ways authors do this is by overexplaining in dialogue. This usually doesn’t happen intentionally, but out of the fear readers won’t “get it” unless you spell it out. Unfortunately, when you overexplain or repeat yourself, especially in dialogue, readers can feel like the story is talking down to them or even, simply, below their level. That’s a fast track to losing their interest.
Consider a fantasy novel I once read. The author wrote some good dialogue that effectively explained situations while also conveying attitude, nuance, and subtext. Unfortunately, she submarined the dialogue’s inherent buoyancy by having the narrating character explain everything that was said, almost to the point of paraphrasing the dialogue.
For example, in one particular scene, the narrator worried another character might react violently if awoken. This was made clear in the narrative, then repeated, almost word for word, in an immediately subsequent dialogue exchange. The story was otherwise a smart, funny romp. But the author’s penchant for explanation added deadweight that slowed the book down and made me, as a reader, want to start skimming.
Here’s a paraphrased example of how dialogue that repeats the narrative (and vice versa) can feel condescending to readers:
Marcella hesitated outside the bedroom door, clutching Marcus’s supper with both hands. Her fingers tightened around the clay bowl. The last time she’d tried to wake Marcus when he was having one of his episodes, he’d come up swinging—half-conscious and convinced she was someone else. She’d ended up with a sprained wrist and a bruised cheek.
She looked at Angelina. “I don’t think I should go in there,” she whispered. “Last time he had one of these nightmares, he thought I was someone else and attacked me. I hurt my wrist pretty badly.”
This version needlessly repeats the same information in both the narrative and the dialogue. The reader is told twice about Marcus’s violent outburst and the character’s fear—without any additional depth or emotional layering. It slows the pace and makes Marcella sound like she’s explaining the situation not to another character, but to the readers—as if the author doesn’t trust them to retain or interpret what they just read.
The best fiction respects the intelligence of its readers. When your narrative and your dialogue work together, rather than redundantly repeating each other, you create a more immersive, efficient, and respectful reading experience. Before you hit publish, take a pass through your dialogue scenes and ask yourself: “Am I letting the story speak for itself, or am I explaining things that are already clear?”
Trust your readers. They’re smarter than you think—and they’ll thank you for believing it!
The Secret to Writing Witty Characters (Without Trying So Hard)
The Backstory Drip (Backstory Techniques, Pt. 3 of 3)
Slang in Dialogue: Use It Sparingly
Critique: 7 Possible Hooks for Your Opening Chapter
About K.M. Weiland | @KMWeiland
Two trains of thought with Marcella. First, the first explanation can be skipped and go to the dialogue. Marcella hesitated at Marcus’s bedroom door, clutching his supper in her hands. She turned to Angelina and said,
The second one, does Angelina know about the incident with Marcus and Marcella? We could leave out the dialogue then.
Either way works for me.
Having once been involved in politics, I’ve given many speeches. In preparation, my aid often admonished me saying, “stop spinning a web — get to the point!
If you have to add some dialogue after the description, it could offer the opportunity to add some subtext or a bit of humor.
Yikes! I just did something like this. Character A says Character B only likes the arts and playing sports. A few chapters later, he repeats this to another character. If anyone read anything in the book, they would already know this about Character B.
This is not where I thought this post was going and now I’m like, that’s weird! It seems like such an easy thing to fix, and so conspicuous. Like, if you read it out loud, which is great advice for writers, you hear the repetition and for me, that would be bothersome.
Before reading this I thought it would be about using dialogue in an attempt to mask exposition. I recently read a book that did this so blatantly that the dialogue was just as much of a drag as simply reading the backstory as narrative.
I like Matt Bird’s advice on dialogue: give just enough, and no more. Cut things short if possible. He even says to drop the starting words like, “oh”, “uh”, “okay”, “so”, etc. I am guilty of this and I agree that it reads so much better without them.
Reading it out loud to yourself often seems to help identify the repetitions & unnecessary words. I find it helps find fixes for the “rhythm” of the writing too.
Good grief, yes! Several of the recent multi series romance driven fantasy novels do long patches of this. It irritates for the reasons you mention and kills the flow of what is actually a good story. Another one of their added problems worsening the whole experience is the constant need for over explaining backstory. The combination of having the story spoon fed and answering all questions immediately kills mystery and burdens the reader with too much redundant information.
I have to cleanse my palate with a good thriller before tackling the next book in their series!
I am in a critique group that seems to be very good at catching over-explaining. I can just hear one of our members, Peggy, saying, “You’ve already told us that.”
If anything I’m guilty of underexplaining in dialogue, as I have this notion that most readers have a brain and can understand things in their own way. Thus, not much need for me to explain too deeply.
“I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” I try to keep this Mark Twain quote in mind when writing, whether that is the written word or doco production.
It’s harder to be brief & to the point, but it’s worth it!
I don’t honestly think I have ever done this in the way you describe, K.M.. What I *do* do is write entire chapters of dialogue. Literally. When I try writing anything it always descends into people talking to each other and the story never moves on – or if it does, it inches forward at a snails pace. Then I give up.
To be perfectly honest, I have a little more interest in the question, “When does ‘trusting your readers to figure it out’ go too far?” Got any good tips in that area?