One of the biggest challenges for any writer is creating realistic dialogue. It’s surprisingly difficult to recreate the patterns and nuances of human conversation. If you can write ace dialogue, you’ll have agents, editors, and readers all clambering at your door.
You can start by making sure you’re not falling into one of the most common—and, in my personal opinion, one of the most annoying—dialogue pitfalls: the overuse of direct address.
What Is Direct Address?
Direct address occurs whenever one character calls another character by name. As in:
“Hey, John, could you give me that wrench?”
Direct address accomplishes several things, most notably identifying the character being spoken to and applying a certain amount of emphasis to whatever information follows.
Used in moderation, both these accomplishments are admirable and necessary tricks of the trade. However, used to excess, they can become both ridiculous and frustrating (as demonstrated in a fantasy I once read that had the characters calling each other by name in practically every line of dialogue).
When Should You Use Direct Address in Dialogue?
How often do we call each other by name in real life?
Pay attention to direct address in your own conversation, and you’ll be surprised how little you actually call people by name.
As a general rule, direct address is used only:
1. At the beginning of a conversation.
2. When trying to get someone’s attention.
3. When trying to emphasize a point.
Emphasis, in all its forms, must be treated with caution, since it’s far too easy to neutralize its effect through overuse. Every time one of your characters calls another by name, stop and reevaluate the line of dialogue. Would it be just as strong—or or perhaps even stronger—without the occurrence of direct address?
Slang in Dialogue: Use It Sparingly
Critique: 10 Ways to Write Excellent Dialogue
The 10 Rules of Writing Large Casts of Characters
When Writing, How Do You Know When Enough Is Enough?
About K.M. Weiland | @KMWeiland
Thanks for pointing this out. It is something I will be looking for.
Thanks so much!
Tried to use your contact page, but it wouldn’t work.
Just a heads up…I’m going to quote you (with a link to your blog) on a yellow sticky. Queued up for Monday.
Regards, Mac
http://rmacwheeler.blogspot.com/
Helpful tip–thanks. Something for me to go back and look for in my WIP…
@Christine: You’re welcome!
@Mac: Thanks very much – on both counts. I’ll look into the contact page’s problem and I appreciate the link.
@Kenda: Fortunately, this is a pretty easy mistake to catch once we’re aware of it.
Timely advice! I’ve been noting my use of direct address a lot in my current editing project–especially during disagreements/arguments. (I do address my husband by name or nickname a lot during these situations, but I’m trying to tone it down in my writing!)
Direct address in arguments falls under the emphasis category. But less is still usually more.
Did you watch Titanic? One thing that drove me blitzo was Jack and Rose addressing each other in practically every line of dialogue.
The classic western Shane was another one that drove me nuts in this regard. It’s even worse when movies abuse direct address, since you have to listen to the unnatural flow of the speech patterns.
Great lesson, K.M. I work at this, but it’s a good reminder to go back and look for it again. 🙂
We all do it to some extent – even those of us who claim it as a pet peeve!
I also think it increases in moments of extreme stress….
Definitely – although I would consider that as falling under the emphasis heading.
Great point. This is very important. I also like nicknames, but in moderation ;o)
Great Vlog!
I’m a nickname person myself. Almost all of my characters end up with a nickname – even if I never use the nicknames in the stories.
I try to keep that to a minimum, myself. One thing that has always struck me as false is the use of “Sis” as a direct address; I know of no one in real life who calls their sister “sis”.
My younger brother and sister both call me “Sissy” or “Sis”, and my son uses “Sis” (often “hey Sis” as a greeting) towards my daughter. It might be an Aussie thing, but it does happen a lot DownUnder.
I used to have a Sheltie Collie named Sissy. 🙂
That bothers me too, unless it’s a historical novel and the word is used in full: “Sister.”
That always makes me think of a pair of elderly maiden ladies, like the Baldwin sisters in ‘The Waltons,’ or some of Elizabeth Gaskell’s characters. 🙂 I agree, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone actually say ‘sis.’
In my opinion, “sister” works best in a humorous context, even in historical settings.
You know when I hear/use Sis? With people whose sister I play in a role-playing situation, like the Renaissance Faire. But we use it outside of Faire to point out the fictional relationship. I’m not really Larry’s sister, but in, say, a facebook greeting, he’ll say “Happy birthday, Sis!”
In any case, thanks for pointing out this over-naming problem. It was just bugging me in something the other day, though I’ve already forgotten what it was in.
Come to think of it, I have heard sister used in that context – almost always when the people in question aren’t really related!
Great post, Katie. The same is true of titles, including the ever-present “sir.” In the sequel to my Savage Worlds, I have a society that constantly refers to the dictatorial head man as “sir,” even multiples of it in the same sentence and line. This emphasizes his lust for power.
Otherwise, “sir” is used half the time at most. Same with Captain, and even Mom or Dad. I have heard people refer to their “sis” or “bro,” but not frequently. It just depends on who it is.
~ VT
I had a butler character in my WIP who wanted to call my MC “sir” in every line of dialogue. Had to rein him back a bit.
This is a very helpful post, thank you. From the start to finish of my novel ‘The Fall of the House of Burne’, there was about a 2 year span. In the beginning I used the title ‘Captain’ in almost every sentence. Near the end I really learned to rein that in, thankfully. Now to go back and edit.
It’s always interesting to witness the evolution of our writing skills over the duration of a novel. Gotta blush at some of those early mistakes, huh?
An important precaution to take
This is admittedly one of my pet peeves. Makes me excessively happy when writers don’t abuse names in dialogue!
It’s a common anime drinking game to take a sip every time one character calls another by name.
“Parn!”
“Deed!”
“Eto!”
“Parrrnnn!”
Makes sense. :p
The only people in real life who constantly use direct address to distraction are sports announcers and newscasters.
If you are writing YA or MG the character’s mom or dad will use direct address when the kid is in especially deep trouble. A good reason to give that kid a middle name.
Or salesmen. 😉
I have never put a character’s name in the quote marks; always outside the quotes. Otherwise I use narration, e.g. John flipped pages. Otherwise it sounds odd to me, “John flipping pages …” (Unless its irony) And – lucky me, perhaps – I can’t recall the last time I read a novel where the author used a characters name inside the quotes. I have used a nominal, e.g. “The perpetrator …” “The suspect …” “The captain …” However, if you imply – because you don’t state it – that using a character’s name outside the quotes can be ‘annoying’, I would say I haven’t noticed it – so far. I tend to use both. By that I mean I use character names whenever a character speaks e.g. Clynne said, Clare said, when there are more than two characters in a conversation. When there’s several characters I find it essential to keep track of who says what. Writers can lose me when they have many exchanges in quotes and never say who says what. That to me is annoying, because I have to stop reading and figure out who said what. I tend to use character names less (unless there’s a damn good reason) when there are only two characters in the conversation. For example, whichever character speaks first. John said something, then Mary answered. But whenever its clear that John is speaking I use he said (or no name). And vis-a-vis when it’s clear Mary is speaking I use she said. However, I find things can get messy when two characters of the same gender are speaking. A string of exchanges between same-gender characters without their names will turn me off. So I find, depending on the scene, and the POV, I’ll use a mix of direct address or the pronouns he, she, they, them, her, him, it, etc (or some nominal, e.g. the man in the fedora, the pencil moustache, the corporate executive, the officer with the crooked nose). Hope that makes sense. 🙂
What I’m talking about here applies only to direct address–when one character calls another character by name in dialogue.
Great points! There might be another valid use for direct address: when there are multiple characters in a scene, and the speaker needs to be clear about whom they are addressing. (That might fall under the “get someone’s attention” category).
Also, I ‘ve noticed that direct address can be used more often in other cultures. For example, my wife’s family is from Mexico. When she converses with her aunt or her parents, they use each other’s names or titles about every other sentence.
That’s really interesting about cultural uses.
Great blog! Fortunately this is one of the things I do get right 🙂 You are absolutely correct. Name after name is frustrating to the reader. I hate the overuse of dialogue tags too. They have the same effect.