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Stories told by a first-person narrator (i.e., “I went to school today” vs. the third-person narrator “she went to school today”) are increasingly popular these days, particularly in YA fiction. But this is often a narrative perspective that’s tricky to get right. The first-person narrator, more than any other type of narrator, is inclined to lapse into self-centered telling, in which he overpowers the story, at the expense of the other characters and even the plot itself. Let’s take a look at some of the common pitfalls and how to avoid them.
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| Image by C12 |
Beginning every sentence with “I.” The first-person narrator tempts writers into focusing on the narrating character to the exclusion of other subjective nouns. The result is a stultifying string of sentences that all feature the same subject. Mix and match subjects to electrify some life into your syntax.
Wrong: I fled down the stairs, heart pounding. I could hear the zombified giant clomping after me. Ahead, I could see the cellar door offering me the chance to escape and hide. I reached the door, wrenched it open, and dove inside.Telling thoughts instead of showing. In the first-person narrative, everything you write is straight out of the main character’s brain. You don’t need to clarify the character’s thoughts by placing them in italics or qualifying them with an “I thought” tag.
Right: My heart pounded as I fled down the stairs. Behind me, the zombified giant clomped after me. Five feet ahead, the cellar door offered the chance to escape and hide. I reached the door, wrenched it open, and dove inside.
Wrong: I couldn’t believe this was happening. Zombified giants don’t really exist, do they? I thought to myself. Maybe I’m dreaming.Inserting lengthy narrative at the expense of action and dialogue. First-person narration offers the temptation to share with readers everything the character is thinking. But beware of lengthy narrative rabbit trails when you should be allowing action and dialogue to carry the story.
Right: This couldn’t be happening. Zombified giants didn’t really exist, did they? Maybe I was dreaming.
Wrong: “What’s up with you lately?” Kirsten asked.Utilizing a first-person narrator can be an exciting way to create an immediate and intimate story readers won’t be able to turn away from. Make sure you aren’t stumbling over these common mistakes, and you’ll be more than ready to knock readers (and maybe some zombified giants as well) off their feet with your powerful narrative.
I heaved a sigh. Kirsten had no idea how insane my life had become. She had no idea that zombified giants—huge and ugly and stinky—were after me. [Insert lengthy description of zombified giants, narrator’s life, history of friendship with Kirsten, etc.]
Right: “What’s up with you lately?” Kirsten asked.
I heaved a sigh. “You have no idea how insane my life has become.” I threw my backpack into my locker, shot a surreptitious glance up and down the hallway, then leaned forward to whisper in her ear, “Zombies! Big ones!” [Insert witty, conflict-ridden dialogue that conveys the important information about zombified giants, narrator’s life, history of friendship with Kirsten, etc.]
Tell me your opinion: Do you prefer writing in first-person or third-person?
Related Posts: Why Narrative Isn't a Bad Thing
Bring your POV Characters' Voices to Life
5 Ways to Write Character Thoughts Worth More Than a Penny
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Story by K.M. Weiland
Tags: Feature , first-person , most common mistakes , narrative , narrator , sentence structure , Showing , Telling , third-person , thoughts
I prefer to write in the third-person viewpoint for a novel. I do not like books written in the first person because I get bored reading them after the first paragraph. I like the third-person narrator as the voice for the story, a narrator who mostly just sees what's going on but every so often can get behind the eyeballs of the protagonist. That's what I read, and that's what I write.
I suppose I could try to write a book in the first person. But my reaction to that is "but I wouldn't like it very much."
For the most part, I prefer third-person as well. I wrote a short story in first, which I was very pleased with, and my current WIP features a few short scenes in first. But, generally, as a writer, I find third more versatile and less of a hassle. As a reader, I enjoy both, when they're well written.
I've been thinking about using first person for the novel I'm about to start. This gives me a little more insight into some of the challenges that would entail. Thanks!
Glad the post was timely! Have fun with that new story.
Love the new layout!
I have experimented with first person and have recently begun reading more books using it, but I prefer the freedom and scope third person offers.
Personally, I enjoy writing in first person far more than third, as I find I can get deeper into the character's thoughts, but I tend to use third person for my more "professional" stories. I am, however, going to attempt a novella in first person.
I get turned off when writing first person, mainly because I am no good at it. I have a tendency to make the narrator's voice sound "realistic," and a realistic 12 year old is not a writer. Certain books I've read do this same thing and it turns me off to read "totally cool" in prose. However, there are a great deal of first person novels that I enjoy. So it CAN be done really well. Just not by me! :)
@Miss Cole: Thanks! I don't generally make a conscious choice, in my reading, between first and third. I'm reading a first-person narrative right now and didn't even really think about the fact that it was written in first until this post went live this morning. Talk about a sign that it's well written!
@Eldra: I find it interesting that authors (myself included) find writing in first "deeper," when, really, a deep third can be just as intimate and intense. In fact, it's an interesting exercise to take a piece written in first person and switch all the pronouns to third person (or vice versa). Sometimes when I've having trouble getting into a third-person narrative, I'll write a scene or two in first to find the voice, then switch it around.
@Christine: Many beginning writers assume first-person is easier than third, just because it's so intuitive. But it's really the trickier of the two. Mastering it can take a lot of time and effort.
Great analysis. So many books--even published ones--make the mistakes you're talking about. I prefer writing in first person, because it helps me get more into the character, but as a reader, I have to admit I prefer reading third person limited. So I often write the 1st draft in 1st and rewrite in 3rd.
Interesting that your writing and reading preferences are different. Perhaps because you write in first, it makes you hyper-aware of its problems when reading it?
This is very informative. I'll proceed to see the rest of the series. I too am writing in first person most of the time and it annoys me to no end how easy it is to make that mistake. I mean, talk about self-centered stories... But I guess it has its advantages too, so here's to hoping my characters will improve in the future. :)
The self-centered problem isn't limited to the prose alone. First-person seems to push writers into the pitfall of *creating* self-centered characters. If we can pull the narrating character's focus outward a little bit, away from himself, many of the prose tips I outlined in this post will fall into place that much more easily.
I prefer third but I find first to be fun when I want to hide the other point of view. Sometimes need for my readers to figure it out along with the protagonist.
Often, the more limited the POV, the more powerful the story - just because it concentrates all the emotion and action into the experience of one person. Multiple POVs are great for telling big, sprawling stories, but they definitely dilute the effect.
It's interesting, because first person is used a lot in YA, presumably because it "draws you into the story better." While I like first person, using third person to draw readers into the MC's mind is can be done, but it's harder, and that's why I prefer it. Third person allows for peeks into different characters' minds, and provides a better understanding of the story as whole.
Deep third varies very little from the first-person narrative. In essence, the author is writing a first-person narrative with third-person pronouns. It's a sneaky trick that gives us the best of both worlds.
So far all I'm really doing with my writing is just blogging about my everyday life with my family. Since I love writing as much as I do I try to keep my blog entries interesting rather than a boring online journal listing daily accomplishments or family trips. Your writing advice is very helpful to me even though I'm not writing a novel! I use first person narrative more than third person but I was excited to read this post and see that for the most part I'm not making the mistakes you pointed out. I can always improve of course.
Yep, these first-person tips apply as much to blog posts, newspaper articles, and personal letters as they do to fiction. In this instance, good writing is good writing all the way across the board.
LOL @ zombified giants. I recall reading somewhere that writing in the 1st person is best when the narrator has a strong, distinctive voice that adds to the story. Scout from "To Kill A Mocking Bird" comes to mind, and I am sure many of us can think of others. I've written in first and third person. I understand what people mean by preferring to move from character to character, but this has to be carefully structured like every other part of a novel. Not every third person view point needs to be completely omniscient.
Good advice. It's much easier to get away with a generic voice when writing in third-person. I was just reading something Hugo award-winner David Gerrold said about multiple first-person-narrator stories only working when each POV offered a distinctive voice - and, as we all know, that's much easier said than done.
I very much enjoy reading first person POV! I enjoy it for more fast paced books, especially with a large quantity of unknown. I don't feel played with when details are witheld because the MC didn't remember them either!(Unless they play a dastardly horrible and bad writer-ish trick and show the MC something they don't me. =|)
That's a point worth bringing up. Within the limitations of POV - whether it's first or third or omniscient - authors have to play fair. No whispers of "now, here's the plan," which then devolve into indecipherable mumbles!
I prefer third person because I like to give the reader different opinions of events. However I wrote my first novel 'Call me Aphrodite' in the first person present tense. I found this very difficult to keep up but I enjoyed trying. The reason I did it this way was because the first draft was a diary but I didn't like that so when I converted it to a novel it seemed obvious to keep it in the first person and use the present tense - I used first person past for a flashback. I'll probably stick to third person in future.
I wrote my WIP primarily in third-person present tense, with an opening and closing scene in first-person present tense. It's been a wonderful experience, and I'm very happy with the results. But I think I'll be returning to third-person past tense for the foreseeable future, if only because it's so much more flexible.
I thought I preferred third-person, but after writing and slaving over my very first novel in that perspective I got sick to death of it and needed something new, a new challenge, or feeling. I agree with Stephen, some books can be obnoxious if written in first and they don't do it well. But I have loved others, who do a great job and have an awesome voice. Any perspective can be bad or good depending on how well the author carries it.
As a writer, I love experimenting with different styles. Every technique gives a story a new feel, a new voice. The trick, of course, is discovering which feel and voice is appropriate, and which aren't.
The same problem can show up in third person with heavy use of 'she' or 'he'. It's the first thing I look for now when I edit. My novel (currently still being written) is in 3rd person, however I have written a couple of 1st person short stories. Writing a novel in 1st person would be a huge challenge for me, because longer stories play like movies in my head.
This is such a helpful post. My problem with writing in first is that I use too many "I's" and way too much dialogue because the narrative feels too tell-y. I'm currently editing/writing a series that switches between first and third, which seems to be an easy transition so far since it just started out as more of an experimenting story.
Thanks for stopping by!
~ Chy
Definitely. These principles apply just as much to same problems in third-person narratives, although third person isn't usually as inclined to falling into them.
@J.C.: I've been fond of first and third combinations ever since Dickens introduced the idea in Bleak House. Sounds like fun!
I don't *think* it is. From what I've heard from prospective readers of my novel that using first person makes it more real and more intense. You tell me:
http://gfanthome.wordpress.com/excerpts/
If you're getting good feedback from readers, chances are you're doing things right. Good job!
I'm working on a novel in which the narrator is the son of the main character and is relating events of his father's life while the narrator was still a child (he's actually telling the story many years later). The narrator was present during some of the action, but otherwise is relying on what his father told him had happened. So there's some element of the unreliable narrator in it. I find this way avoids much of the "I did this" and "I did that" first-person-style narration, but I'm afraid I'm not allowing the narrator to be a fully-realized character in the process. How can I avoid this problem?
If you feel the character isn't being fully realized on the page, the problem probably goes deeper than the narrative technique of avoiding too many "I's." You might find some solutions by delving deeper into the narrator's mind. Are you showing what he's thinking about events as they unfold? Is he sharing with readers what he's feeling? The best way to characterize a narrator is to make sure every word he "says" is deeply colored by his own personality.
I love writing in first person. Many people say, oh, it's too difficult, you're too restricted. Yep, that's the challenge. Telling a compelling story within those limitations.
Well said. Truthfully, the limitations - no matter the form - are what make writing so enjoyable. If it wasn't a challenge, would we still find it so rewarding?
I know this is an old post but...I am writing in first person current and find it a major challenge. However my agent has informed me she loves my POV and could not see it writen any other way. Look at the Hunger Games trilogy and how easy it was to fall in love with Katniss? Yes you miss things, yes your book is constantly being sent back for re-writes by agent and editor alike but if done well the story is magical. However it is not for everyone as it is a daunting lover in deed. My current YA book is third person and wow how easy it has been to write and re-form. However working with two styles is another challenge in itself as you find yourself crossing over now and then. OOPS! I can say FP is not for everyone and I believe you need to LOVE your character and have a strong one of a kind story to tell or honestly don't even try because you will flounder.
A deep connection with our characters is important no matter what narrative viewpoint we use, but because of the immersive, intimate nature of first-person, you definitely want to choose a character whose mind you'll enjoy spending that much time in.
If I were to write a story in the first person, would it be correct to loosley describe other characters feelings?
Because first-person is the story as seen directly through the narrator's eyes, you would only be able to describe other characters' feelings as the narrator observes them.
I'm a walnut in a bowl of peanuts here. I love writing first person stories. It works for me mainly because I write weird fiction (atmospheric/picture of moods/ see "on writing" written by the famous author H.P. Lovecraft). I wish I could write really interesting characters but mood and message is my overall forte. Well, each of us is gifted in different ways. But I'm still young and who knows what the future holds.
First-person stories are wonderful. Don't feel like you *shouldn't* be writing them. So long as you have a strong narrating character, you're almost more likely to create a quicker, stronger connection with readers via 1st-person, rather than 3rd.
I've subscribed to you posts for some months and find them very helpful, although I don't manage to read/listen to all of them. This one is old but very relevant for me: I've started writing a historical novel (my first) in the first person, present tense - quite a challenge! Most people warn me against it, but you suggest it can work if I'm careful. Thanks for the encouragement. I have an extract at http://www.aquilaelba.info/trial-by-trek/. If you have the time, I'd really appreciate your comments as to whether or not you think it works.
Glad you're enjoying the post! Unfortunately, my schedule doesn't allow me to critique stories, but I do wish you all the best with your first-person narrative. So long as you've got a narrator with a great voice (and, of course, you avoid the pitfalls in this post!), you should have no problem.