This week’s video points out a common and annoying dialogue pitfall and explains how to avoid it.
Video Transcription: One of the biggest challenges for any writer is the necessity of creating realistic dialogue. It’s surprisingly difficult to recreate the patterns and nuances of human conversation. If you can write ace dialogue, you’ll have agents, editors, and readers all clambering at your door. However, on your way to this enviable state, make sure you’re not falling into one of the most common—and, in my personal opinion, one of the most annoying—dialogue pitfalls: the overuse of direct address.
Direct address occurs whenever one character calls another character by name. As in, “Hey, John, could you give me that wrench?” Direct address accomplishes several things, most notably identifying the character being spoken to and applying a certain amount of emphasis to whatever information follows. Used in moderation, both these accomplishments are admirable and necessary tricks of the trade. However, used to excess, they can become both ridiculous and frustrating, as demonstrated in a fantasy I read that had the characters calling each other by name in practically every line of dialogue.
How often do we call each other by name in real life? Pay attention to direct address in your own conversation, and you’ll be surprised how little you actually call people by name. As a general rule, direct address is used only at the beginning of a conversation, when we’re trying to get someone’s attention, or when we’re trying to emphasize a point. Emphasis, in all its forms, must be treated with caution by the writer, since it’s far too easy to neutralize its effect through overuse. Every time one of your characters calls another by name, stop and reevaluate the line of dialogue. Would it be just as strong—or or perhaps even stronger—without the occurrence of direct address?
Related Posts: Are Your Characters Talking Heads?
Do You Know to Use Emphasis in Your WRITING?!
Info Dumps Don't Belong in Dialogue
Story by K.M. Weiland
Tags: dialogue , direct address , emphasis
Thanks for pointing this out. It is something I will be looking for.
Thanks so much!
Tried to use your contact page, but it wouldn't work.
Just a heads up...I'm going to quote you (with a link to your blog) on a yellow sticky. Queued up for Monday.
Regards, Mac
http://rmacwheeler.blogspot.com/
Helpful tip--thanks. Something for me to go back and look for in my WIP...
@Christine: You're welcome!
@Mac: Thanks very much - on both counts. I'll look into the contact page's problem and I appreciate the link.
@Kenda: Fortunately, this is a pretty easy mistake to catch once we're aware of it.
Timely advice! I've been noting my use of direct address a lot in my current editing project--especially during disagreements/arguments. (I do address my husband by name or nickname a lot during these situations, but I'm trying to tone it down in my writing!)
Direct address in arguments falls under the emphasis category. But less is still usually more.
Did you watch Titanic? One thing that drove me blitzo was Jack and Rose addressing each other in practically every line of dialogue.
The classic western Shane was another one that drove me nuts in this regard. It's even worse when movies abuse direct address, since you have to listen to the unnatural flow of the speech patterns.
Great lesson, K.M. I work at this, but it's a good reminder to go back and look for it again. :-)
We all do it to some extent - even those of us who claim it as a pet peeve!
I also think it increases in moments of extreme stress....
Definitely - although I would consider that as falling under the emphasis heading.
Great point. This is very important. I also like nicknames, but in moderation ;o)
Great Vlog!
I'm a nickname person myself. Almost all of my characters end up with a nickname - even if I never use the nicknames in the stories.
I try to keep that to a minimum, myself. One thing that has always struck me as false is the use of "Sis" as a direct address; I know of no one in real life who calls their sister "sis".
That bothers me too, unless it's a historical novel and the word is used in full: "Sister."
That always makes me think of a pair of elderly maiden ladies, like the Baldwin sisters in 'The Waltons,' or some of Elizabeth Gaskell's characters. :) I agree, I don't think I've ever heard anyone actually say 'sis.'
In my opinion, "sister" works best in a humorous context, even in historical settings.
You know when I hear/use Sis? With people whose sister I play in a role-playing situation, like the Renaissance Faire. But we use it outside of Faire to point out the fictional relationship. I'm not really Larry's sister, but in, say, a facebook greeting, he'll say "Happy birthday, Sis!"
In any case, thanks for pointing out this over-naming problem. It was just bugging me in something the other day, though I've already forgotten what it was in.
Come to think of it, I have heard sister used in that context - almost always when the people in question aren't really related!
Great post, Katie. The same is true of titles, including the ever-present "sir." In the sequel to my Savage Worlds, I have a society that constantly refers to the dictatorial head man as "sir," even multiples of it in the same sentence and line. This emphasizes his lust for power.
Otherwise, "sir" is used half the time at most. Same with Captain, and even Mom or Dad. I have heard people refer to their "sis" or "bro," but not frequently. It just depends on who it is.
~ VT
I had a butler character in my WIP who wanted to call my MC "sir" in every line of dialogue. Had to rein him back a bit.
This is a very helpful post, thank you. From the start to finish of my novel 'The Fall of the House of Burne', there was about a 2 year span. In the beginning I used the title 'Captain' in almost every sentence. Near the end I really learned to rein that in, thankfully. Now to go back and edit.
It's always interesting to witness the evolution of our writing skills over the duration of a novel. Gotta blush at some of those early mistakes, huh?